By Austin Silva Mota
Despair is the easiest thing to feel when we look at the world around us: war, famine, wild weather, violations of every kind of freedom. As we serve in our own cities—even the most peaceful of them—there are scaled-down versions of those same problems. We see aggression, people hungry for food and affection, drought or flooding (or both!) or rising sea levels. We hear hateful speech and see abuses of power—or sometimes just rigid, outdated systems—that result in people going without the most basic necessities. And we see so many people who give up …
Why don’t we? What keeps us going, when so much around us seems to be falling apart? I believe it’s because of our core value of Hope.
Hope doesn’t deny the hard realities; it allows us to look beyond them.
We must, however, be careful where we place our hope, and how we build upon them. Fortunately, the practice of cultivating a healthy hopefulness can give us the strength we need, day after day. You have probably met people who have told you, “I have nothing to live for!” Hard circumstances pushed Dona H. to tell our team, “My youngest son is dead, my oldest son no longer speaks to me, and my middle son is an alcoholic. I’m just waiting to die.” The details may differ, but all of us have met people who feel they have no reason to live. It may not be medically possible to die of hopelessness, but without hope it can feel that life has no value. And it’s not just the people we serve who must work to keep their hope alive. As volunteers constantly on the front lines, we need to guard against hopelessness, too!
Desmond Tutu said that, “Hope is being able to see that there is a light despite all the darkness.” Some situations in life can seem impossible, and hope isn’t blind to difficulties and obstacles. Hope doesn’t deny that there is darkness– but in fact, it requires looking the darkness in the face while at the same time choosing to focus on the light. It is only by focusing on that light, we can imagine a better world for the future. The more we imagine this better future for our world, the clearer our goal becomes and the more possible it feels.
Yet it isn’t enough to just imagine. Hope that isn’t acted upon risks becoming idle daydreams. In this sense, hope itself is not the destination, but the fuel behind our action and movement. Because when everything seems to be going wrong–or just not going anywhere–that dream of a possible, better future moves us forward. If we can keep that hope shining and keep putting one foot in front of the other, with our eyes on the light, it will lead us through the darkness and out the other side.Of course, there are always dangers. Besides the temptation to passive dreaming, care is needed when our hopes involve other people. It’s important to listen and respect the hopes and plans of others for themselves.
If we try to impose our dreams on people, when their own are different, it won’t go well. I can have the biggest, most beautiful hopes for my family, my team or my city, but if I’m not listening to and including their dreams, it’s less likely my plans will become reality. I’ll be terribly disappointed, even if what does happen is amazing… and possibly closer to the hopes the other people had for themselves. Even if I do get the outcome I hoped for, it can create a strain on the relationship, with “success” coming at a high cost. This isn’t just a challenge for our leaders. I see it happen with our volunteers, too. They become invested in one particular outcome for a person they’re serving, and when that doesn’t happen, they’re devastated.
It’s true that people will let us down, but, beyond that, remember that those same people may have hopes for themselves that are completely different than we have for them. And if ‘respect’ is another of our core values, that includes respecting the dreams and plans of others. We don’t want our hopes to become a weight for the people we’re serving.
Maybe the poet Emily Dickinson was thinking about something similar when she called hope “the thing with feathers that perches in the soul.” Hope is essential, but we must hold it lightly: let it perch and, if necessary, let it fly away. We cannot become obsessed with a particular hope or outcome. We must be willing to change and adapt as circumstances change. Even if we are working towards them diligently with others, and holding onto outcomes lightly, we will still sometimes be disappointed. Those are the moments when we’re challenged to keep cultivating hope in our lives, despite the disappointment.
During the years that I have worked at Serve the City, I have met people with seemingly boundless hope, like C., a psychologist here in Lisbon: Senhor A. has been living on the street for decades, and C. has been visiting him for much of that time. One day, C. is onboarding a new volunteer, and after they visit Senhor A. the volunteer asks, “Why do you bother? He’s never going to accept our help!” “Maybe you’re right,” C. admits, “but if Senhor A. ever changes his mind… I want to be there on that day.” After so many years, C. still hopes that change is possible! How can we train that kind of unshakeable conviction in ourselves and in others?
I would argue that hope is a mental muscle—or a spiritual one, if you prefer. As such, it gets stronger with practice. For example, we can exercise our hope-muscle by imagining specific things we would like to see. Start by focusing on small things that are shorter term and realistic. When there are victories, even the victories that didn’t happen exactly as we imagined, we celebrate them. Hope now can build on those past triumphs as it looks forward to new challenges. We can also change the kinds of questions we ask. We tend to ask, “What if this goes wrong?” Instead, try asking, “What if this works out even better than I thought?” And lastly, it’s essential to share the load, talking to people about their dreams and sharing yours. This also helps us practice listening and respect for the hopes of others.
At Serve the City we live out our core value of Hope by intentionally practicing these positive thought habits not only in our own personal lives, but also in all our volunteer programs and initiatives. And we constantly remind ourselves, hope doesn’t just happen—it’s something we learn, something we practice, in both our dreams and our actions.
No doubt, we’ll sometimes put our hopes in the wrong things or the wrong people, or we’ll forget to listen well. Some situations, too, just won’t work out. But even then, if we cultivate our hope, it will keep us going, despite the complexities around us. Because Hope is, above all, resilient. Its exactly like the bird-like hope of Dickenson’s poem, “And sings the tune without the words – And never stops – at all -”
What situations are you facing that require a Hope that just won’t quit? How will you cultivate that kind of hope today?
About the Author:
Austin is the 2nd generation of Serve the City volunteers in her family and specializes in Volunteer Management. She has been working full-time with Serve the City Portugal for 5 years, and lives in Lisbon with her husband and 3 children. She’s originally from the United States, but immigrated to Portugal in 2001.
